Christmas for Me

It's bittersweet. I don't know, I am so thankful and happy for life, for my grades this semester, for my family. For true love and for my child's health. I am just thankful for so much... But then my heart is broken. I miss my sister, I miss my dad. I never met him, he killed himself when I was six months old but I always wonder how my life would be different if he had been here. His birthday is today, he died when he was 19 and today he would be 47. Idk, I miss my sister so much. I miss her more than life itself but I have to keep going and keep smiling because I never know when it'll be my turn. We all have to die, no one can escape it so we need to enjoy every day.

Christmas for me in 2010 means hosting my first Christmas Dinner. It means baking from scratch and cookies for Santa. It means presents under the tree bought with my own money this year, not my mom's. It means having my bills paid by me and my husband, not my mom. It means independence, it means prayer, it means giving praise. It means growing in Christ. It means constant praying to be anointed. It means the constant yearning to be a better mother and wife. It means cleaning and scrubbing, throwing out the old to make room for the new. It means Christmas music and lots of food. It means hugs and kisses. It means vanilla candles and a White Christmas tree.

I passed this semester with flying colors. I am humble about it though b/c I prayed a lot this semester and one class that I asked for a B in, I got an A. I can't take credit for that at all. I'm just appreciative that God hears my prayers and continues to bless me.

As 2010 comes to a close, I am thankful for the bad things b/c they always taught me a lesson and reminded me of the good things. Life goes on, and if it doesn't, you're dead.

Until next time... Merry Christmas.